I Apologize, Internet

There is no easy way to say this. There is only one way to say this, and it is not easy.

I'm blogging now.

I'm sorry, internet, I'm sorry, bandwidth. I'm sorry world. For the next however long it's going to be (maybe months, maybe one week, maybe forever), I will be in your screens, textually feeding you the contents of my life.

It'll get personal. Skin-to-skin personal. Well, skin-to-screen.

But before the layers of clothing come off, I think you should at least know my situation and how much emotional baggage we're dealing with here.

1. My name is Sarah Bonilla. The "h" is important. If you forget the "h", there are consequences. Dire consequences. Small, nameless islands scattered along the Pacific imploded when the "h" is forgotten.

2. I live in Cicero, Il, and unlike most internet personalities, I have no problem sharing that with you because I know no one will stalk me. I know no one will rent-a-car and drive their happy ass to Cicero. I know this because there is nothing of appeal here. There is absolutley nothing. There is the sour smell wafting up in the air of crushed hopes and dreams of generations of Ciceronians still in Cicero living their pathetic, half-ghetto, half-surburban lives.

3. I am not self-righteous nor pretentious, but like most self-righteous, pretentious teenagers, I hate high school. If Cicero is a pile of crap, Morton High School is its own personal hell. Hell. That's what I call high school.

4. I read constantly, more than anyone should. And I'm not talking Twilight shit here (I hate girls who think reading Twilight makes them readers; I find it grossly insulting), I'm talking Zadie Smith, Hemingway, Virgina Woolf, David Sedaris, others of that effect. I'm guessing most of the posts here will be about books. I apologize in advance.

5. I'm a writer, sort of. That's not pretentious at all. I swear. I don't go to coffeehouses and sip frappes with my laptop in front of me telling everyone to quiet down because, "I'm working on my novel." Writing is just something I love. Bloggng indirectly reflects that.

6. I'm Hispanic. That shouldn't matter. I'm not Mexican, I have my papers, I was born in the United States. I speak English better than I speak Spanish. I'm documented, and legal or whatever (still, VIVA LA RAZA)

7. I come with a slew of almost-disorders: I'm prone to insomniac bouts, I addicted to many things, I get up and fuck in my sleep (no, I'm only kidding...unless you're interested).

8. I'm really sarcastic, if you haven't noticed. And I'm mean, I'm insulting, I'm acerbic, I'm made of awesome.

9. I have two cats, one of whom I love dearly, and the other I kind of like. I'm a crazy writing, Cat-lady in the making.

10.You'll love me overbearingly. Just wait for it.

If you're still reading, I'm proud; dedication like that is rare.

Much love and sexually charged introductions,
Sarah.